Enamour

Of late I have been quite taken by a specific word. The word is "enamour". According to Webster it means "to inflame with love". I am quite enamoured with the enamouring word of "enamour".

What if...?

"What' and ‘if’ two words as nonthreatening as words come. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: ‘What if?'..."

 

 

 

That quote was from a movie called Letters to Juliet. The movie is irrelevant, I just liked the quote because I think that it perfectly sums up how I've been feeling lately. 

 

There are about four or five events in my life where I look back and pinpoint a specific second in time and wonder "what if" I had done something different? How would my life have changed? Would I have not had to go through all of that? Would have I been saved that heartbreak? What if?! These thoughts have been torturing me for about a year. In the last 12 months I have had a complete and total paradigm shift on the world and my place in it. I have been able to look at my past and realize just how wrong I was. How stubborn and unwilling to listen to advice I was. How independent I was, to the point of a flaw. How often I put my faith and support onto those who let me fall. I was quite the little fool. But, luckily, I have somehow found my way out of that person and into the one that I am trying to me today. Of course I slip up and make mistakes, but at least now I can recognize where I am failing, more than I did before. All that is beside the point.

I have come to the realization that "what if?" doesn't matter in the slightest. The past, is the past. You cant change it. So why worry about it? All I can change at this point is my attitude and who I am right now. All that matters is right now. 

Cruisin'

 

The weather has been SO beautiful lately!! Blue skies, in the 50's, country roads. (:

Slapped in the Face

I have always wanted to work in the medical field. Beginning around the time I could walk I have a long history of playing doctor, cleaning up cuts, gashes and bruises (with 6 little brothers I have had plenty of opportunities to do so), as well as taking care of my horses when they got tangled up in the fence or into some other mischief. I LOVE doing stuff like that. So as I got older that should have been my obvious career choice, right? That's what I loved doing, loved reading about, and loved learning. That's what I always wanted to do. However, when I was about 17 and seriously thinking about choosing my career, I was looking into medical field options and I noticed there was a lot of math involved in most of the options that I wanted. So what happened? I completely and totally shut down. Ever since about 9th grade I have had a deep abiding loathing for math. I had a MAJOR mental block up. Needless to say, I decided that medical was NOT for me. How stupid is that?! I thought that it wouldn't be worth it if I had to go through more than the minimum math requirements. So I decided that I would pursue my other love; writing. One semester into the courses for eventually obtaining a bachelors in journalism I knew that there was no way that would be happy going that path. Yes, I loved the material that I was studying and I found some of my teachers to be beyond fabulous at helping me progress, I just wasn't happy. I wasn't thrilled to be learning. It just felt wrong. So when I came home for a short break in the summer, I was discussing the issue with my mom and she said the words that changed my views completely. She said "Hailey, if you're not happy then change what you're doing."  I went on to say that I didn't think I could handle doing the math. I had already struggled quite badly with in in high school and I didn't want to have to struggle through it all again. Then my brilliant mother said to me "if medical is what you want to do, then wont you work as hard as you possibly can for it? The harder the work the greater the accomplishment and the better you will feel in the end". Long story short, I went in and worked on changing my major, from journalism to nursing. Then I found out that the nursing program takes the exact same math courses as my other major would have. I let a stupid mental block keep me from what I really wanted to do! This is a pretty good example of not letting stumbling blocks knock you down. But it gets better.
     I am one who believes in God. He is able to help us decide the right course. I all to often feel like he doesn't hear me, but this time he heard me. I had been asking him what I should do about my major and I felt pretty good about my decision to be a nurse but I still hadn't really felt that strong "YES! This is what I need to do.." yet. It was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and my roommate and I were both heading home for the weekend. I had a paper that I had to turn in to my teacher's office before the deadline and so I was going to just going to turn it in before I left. Simple enough, right? Wrong. EVERYTHING that could have possible prevented me from getting to campus did. The printer wouldn't work, I couldn't find my keys, I lost my shoe, etc, etc.. I was getting extremely frustrated and my roommate and I just decided that she would simply swing by the building on our way out of town. Simple solution. We get packed, loaded, and in the car. I am panicking, thinking that I wont be able to get it turned in on time and I would get a bad grade, so when she pulls up to the building parking  lot I do a somersault out of the car (not really) and start running into the building. It had been raining that day and the sidewalks were slick, on top of that I was wearing (always) my Chucks--which have absolutely NO tread on them. My run turned into an awkward speed walk and I was trying not to fall down. After an eternity I made it into the building and just as I was about to take the stairs two at a time, I had a distinct thought that one of the back staircases might be faster then the one I was about to take. This though was kind of weird in and of its self because I had never even really noticed that particular staircase before because it wasn't commonly used, but I didn't think much of it and started up the stairs. When I got to the first flight, there on the landing was a girl laying on her side, facing away from me. Textbooks and papers were scattered all over. Immediately I knew that something was wrong. Within a matter of milliseconds I completely switched gears. Before I was hurrying to turn in an assignment, now I was hurrying to find a solution. As I ran towards the girl I noticed that she was unconscious and that there was a massive puddle of blood stretching in a 3' by 4' radius around the girls head. I have never had any real first-aid training, but I still felt like I knew exactly what I needed to do. I called for help, told the paramedics my location and the situation. Next I gently rolled the girl so that she was face upwards, so that she would not inhale any of the blood around her face. When I did this I noticed a 4-6", skull deep laceration in the girl's forehead just above her eyebrow. This was the source of all the blood, she had somehow sliced it open. I knew that I needed to put pressure on it, but I also knew that I should get as little of her blood on me as possible, so I snatched the scarf from around her neck, folded it and put pressure on the wound. About this time she was starting to come-to and started moaning a little bit. I told her who I was and all that I knew of the situation. I tried to ask her if she knew what happened and she groggily mumbled something about wet shoes. *I'm guessing that she was going to class and since her shoes had been wet from the rain she slipped and hit her head on the stairs* I didn't want her to be scared so I just kept pressure on her head and kept the questions coming. She didn't answer any of them intelligibly, but at least she was conscious and making an effort. When the paramedics got there I just got out of the way and let them do their job while I gathered up the girls scattered belongings. They took her away and in a passing note one of the paramedics told me that if I had come just a few moments later she would have almost definitely bled to death. Wow! Anyway, I got cleaned up, went back to the stairs where I had initially dropped my assignment, turned it in, and headed home. Long story short. I LOVED doing that! I wasn't scared, nervous, or panicky in the slightest. I felt like I just knew exactly what to do. Albeit I was a little bit shaky from the Adrenalin, but it was a good kind of shaky.

     What better confirmation do I need than that? I feel that that incident was an answer to my prayers. Now I know why everything was slowing me down and I know that I want to have a career in the medical field. I was going to be an ER or ICU nurse, but I have recently decided to become a paramedic.

    This is my story of how God slapped me in the face with my obvious career choice, and I'm so glad that he did!!

Words

Words. Words are everywhere. You cannot escape them. They will always be there. But what are they really? Do we really understand them? We use, see, read, and hear thousands upon thousands of words daily. But what are words?

When spoken, in any and all languages, they are nothing but a compilation of random noises that we can make with our mouths to represent an object, emotion, action, and many other things. When written or typed they are nothing but random lines, shapes, and scribbles, to represent the item that a random noise has been assigned to. That's all they are! Who decided that we would call hot flames "fire"? Or that the yellow, orange, and red flickers of light should be called a "flame"? Or that a brightness that comes from the flickering flames should be called "light"?? I could go on and on and on... 

Words are things that have always fascinated me. They are the ultimate contortionist; flexible, variable, able to adhere to any and all positions fathomable. Yet, while being so pliable and supple they are in the same exact instant rendered permanent, rigid, solid, and immovable. It is quite the phenomenon to behold. It is a spectacle worthy to keep even the greatest minds in a state of steadfast confusion and contemplation.

Words have the potential to be honey of the tongue. A few correct combinations of our random noises has the astonishing ability lift some one's spirits to the point that even if they are on the brink of death, they're broken body is struggling to power its life juices, dreadful pain has beset them, they can feel like they can accomplish, overcome, and be anything. And in that instant, they can! Words can bring an unfathomable amount of comfort, peace, love, adoration, and so many marvelously wonderful and positive emotions, emotions that are unarguably essential to a fulfilling and meaningful human existence. What would life be without these emotions? A dark and dismal place.

While they have the potential to give life, words also have the destructive power to take it. Words can hurt more than shattered bones, lacerated skin, and a mangled body ever could. They have the capacity to cause more mental and emotional torture and havoc than the racks of a dungeon. One strategically placed word with the aim to be excruciating can leave ones soul writhing in anguish.

Words linger. Once said, they can never be retrieved. Never. One can genuinely apologize for words that were hastily thrown during an argument, words that were meant to cause pain. But, an apology is not going to stop the victim from replaying those words in their mind over and over like a broken record. They will hear those hurtful words like a dagger in their back every time they are feeling down, every time they are having a bad day, and every time someone else jolts them with a painful stimulus of remembering.

Can you see how incredible they are? Do you share in my wonder, fascination, and amazement?

I have hardly scratched the surface of my deep feelings on the enormity and grander of words in this post. But that is not the point I want to make. I want to impress upon you, my dear reader, to think of what you are creating with your words. Every single word you will ever say, no matter how insignificant you may think it is, builds something. It can be building your reputation, building your confidence, building the spirit and moral of others, building strong and powerful walls of resentment, building a positive or negative relationship (any person you have ever met you have a relationship ((of some kind)) with), or building a foundation for any number of possibilities. Words are building. Always building. Does that worry you? Do you feel like what you have built is what you want representing you? If you don't like it.. Change. Words never go away, but in some cases they can be replaced to some degree. Start replacing your negative words with positive ones. It wont be a tit-for-tat situation though, so don't expect that. It will take many positive words to replace just one negative, but don't you think it is worth it?

What are you building with your words? Do you need to start replacing and rebuilding?

I know I do.

My Right.

All this talk about guns and the restriction thereof is such a ridiculous mess. It is all about control. Not gun control, government control. Anyway, I don't want to talk about it too much because it makes my quite angry! I promise an in depth post about how unconstitutional this (and pretty much everything that our socialist president has done) is. I also want to inform the world that I am officially a registered member of the NRA (National Rifle Association)!! Loud and proud baby! Chicago has some of the most strict gun laws in the nation. It is January 18th. In Chicago there have been 27 homicides and 94 people shot. How are those gun laws working out for them? *In case you are too daft to realize that the question was rhetorical--it's NOT working out for them.* Wake up America. Get an education and take a stand. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything.

2012

I can't believe I'm already doing a "wrap up" post about 2012! I feel like it just started. Oh well. Here is everything that happened to me during the past year.

1) I started and completed my first YEAR in college
2) I learned how much I truly love my family and  how deeply I miss them when we aren't together
3) I went to a Nickelback concert in SLC
4) I went to a Boys Like Girls, Parachute, and All-American Rejects concert in Blackfoot Idaho
5) I worked the most horrid job ever invented: A call center
6) I got fat
7) I changed my major
8) I decided to make my dream to go to Europe actually happen
9) I decided to take a religious stand
10) I learned how to be independent
11) I learned that I need to think about who I am dating because it actually matters
12) I learned that every time that my parents have said "you're going to look back and say to yourself 'ya know? Mom and dad were right!' " well....they were right. *Don't tell them I said that*
13) I have gained maturity
14) I learned how to laugh at my mistakes
15) I learned to push through the pain
16) I have learned that there must be opposition in all things
17) I have learned that I don't like nasty politics
18) I experienced my first real honest-to-goodness heart break
19) I have learned how to forgive and let go
20) I decided to let the past stay in the past
21) I have learned to ignore what other people say, think, and do. It's not my problem. Let them be

There is probably more. I am just not that focused right not. Over all I have had an amazing year and I don't think I even recognize the person that I was this time last year. Here is to 2012, the start of 2013, new beginnings, and growing for the better.

Any takers?

Come away with me in the night 

Come away with me

And I will write you a song.

 

Come away with me on a bus

Come away where they can't tempt us

With their lies

.

I want to walk with you

On a cloudy day

In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high

So wont you try to come?

 

Come away with me and we'll kiss

On a mountaintop

Come away with me

And I'll never stop loving you.

 

And i want to wake up with the rain

Falling on a tin roof

While I'm safe in your arms

So all I ask for you

To come away with me in the night

Come away with me!

 

 

 

I like to doodle and quote Nora Jones lyrics.

Fall Semester 2012

I don't have as many pictures of this semester because I didn't do AS much. But I still had a blast! Here is a little view of my second semester and the completion of my first year of college!

 

 

We "watched" conference together!

 

 

This was a bush on the first day of October. Ridiculous.

 

 

I got to sit in a plane that flew in World War II and is now in the Smithsonian Museum! It was pretty solid. (:

 

 

Yes. 3 inches of snow, on green leaves. Awesome.

 

 

Sorry it is sideways. I am struggle-busing it today. But this was probably the highlight of my semester. Nay. My year! We drove to Blackfoot (in a blizzard) and waited in line for about an hour (in a blizzard). Then we rocked to three of the most amazing performances ever!! I was able to sing along to every song, scream until my voice was gone, dance until I was dizzy, and laugh until I cried on the way home. It doesn't say so on the ticket but Parachute also played at this concert. Parachute, All-American Rejects, and Boys Like Girls?! I would definitely go again. No hesitation.

 

 

We made Ugly Christmas sweaters for a party.. Man, they were ugly!

 

 

Countless Diet Coke runs with Brooke and Victoria. I'm going to miss these girls dearly!!

 

 

Several Batman marathons.

 

 

That was basically all of the semesters pictures. Sad. But true. I am going to miss my roommates, but great things await us all. Peace out. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One Down

As of today I have officially completed my first year of college. It has been an amazing and growing experience for me. I have learned independence, responsibility, money management, the value of possessions, and I am a very restless individual. I am almost positive that I am not going to be returning to school in the Spring, but instead traveling to Europe. It is something that I have always wanted to do and now is the best time for me to do something like this. I am not in a serious relationship, I have no children and I am not committed to anything at this point in my life. School is great, but I need a break. I need a cultural change. I need a location change. I feel extremely restless and like I am missing something in my life. I feel like that thing is travel. I need more experiences. I really need to see more of the world. I need to spread my wings. I still intend on getting my bachelors degree, but I am not positive as to when I will get it. No plans are completely set in stone, but my heart is aching for Europe and totally rejecting and dreading the idea of another semester.

Face-screen

Technology is so much fun, but we can drown in our technology. The fog of information can drive out knowledge.

-Daniel J Boorstin

  

    When I was younger I was an avid reader. I could read about 120 pages an hour, easy (depending on the material of course). I loved it. I was incredibly blessed to have an overwhelming abundance of incredible literature at my fingertips, an outstanding educational upbringing, as well as an amazing set of parents who gave me opportunities on end to become exposed to great works, of all kinds. I could get entirely lost in the pages of Austen, Tolkien, Rowling, Porter, Dickens, Hugo, and so many others. When I would put whatever I was currently devouring down I would have to regain a sense of reality because I had been to engrossed in the life of Daniel Deronda or Eponine that it was almost a mini culture shock to come back. I loved reading about the lives of others. I felt genuine connections with them, almost like I was in their presence through out the story. I felt their emotions as if they were my own. I felt the rush and butterflies that Elizabeth got when she saw Mr. Darcy in the meadow that early morning. I endured the heat of scorn on Hester's cheeks, as she was publicly humiliated for her mistakes. I was burdened with the sorrow, panic, paranoia, and despair of Raskolnikov as a consequence of his gruesome deeds. I lived vicariously through these classics. I learned essential lessons of faith, humility, the true meaning of love and sacrifice, loyalty, and a great deal more than I could ever adequately put into words. I could read and read. Never stopping. Never wanting to. There was many a night when one of my parents would be doing the usual 2 am child-check would find me wide eyed and excited with my nose buried in a book, instead of sleeping. There were many nights where my precious books were used as a threat against me. If I didn't go to sleep they would take them away. That horrific trick would usually encourage me to reluctantly close my preferred reality, turn out my lamp, close my eyes, and pull the covers up--at least until mom or dad were upstairs again. Then I would eagerly pop right back up and continue where I left off. I could never get enough. I flew through book after book, story after story. My passion could never be quenched. I adored turning pages. Then something tragic took place. Something that I wish had never happened. I got a Facebook account. After that I somehow changed my very way of life. In my free time instead of clasping my mind onto the trials of Oedipus, I was more concerned with checking my Facebook account and seeing who has posted what and who had "liked" my pictures. Why? Why would I rather know that Austin is bored at work and Kate broke up with Josh than know the work that Jurgis had to endure in New York and that Jane did the right thing and left Mr. Rochester?! Isn't that absurd?? What is my generations fascination with screens and social networking?
      Relationships are failing, grades are dropping, lives are deteriorating. Why? So that we can stare at a piece of glass or plastic that lights up. It is a tragedy of the upcoming generation and is something that needs to be stopped. Why would we rather text someone for hours on end when we could simply call and have the same message and conversation portrayed in a more personal and real manner? We like to hide behind our screens. It takes away a lot of the risks of having a one on one conversation or discussion with someone. We are less likely to get into an uncomfortable situation that way. Less likely to get caught off guard, less likely to be vulnerable. Or at least that's how we justify it. I did a small survey with several of my close friends and the average time they spent on a social network averaged 2-3 hours a day. Added up that is about 21 hours a week, 2.8 days a month 33.6 days a year. That is over one months time online. How sad! What could we be doing in that time? Who could we be serving? What real relationships could we be nurturing? What could we be discovering? Tragic.
      I personally have several social networking accounts. I have email, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pintrest accounts. I didn't feel like I was addicted to my screens or networks, so I did an experiment and I went through my laptop and signed out of all of my accounts, I went through my iTouch and deleted all of my social apps, and I went through my phone and blocked texting capabilities (temporarily) to see how long I could last. Within 2 days I was texting again. I lasted a little longer on the social networking sites but it was still only a little over a week until I caved in an re-downloaded apps and signed back in. Even now I am quite disgusted with myself. Why couldn't I stay away? Because I--like so many others--have become addicted to screens. There I said it. They say that the first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem, right? Well here it goes. Hi. My name is Hailey and I have an addiction to staring at screens instead of developing real relationships, developing myself intellectually, and accomplishing the greatness I am meant to achieve.
      I am craving desperately to be reunited with my dear friends in my favorite books, as well as make new ones in new adventures. Why did I ever let a screen (which is bad for your eyes) get in the way of a book (which is amazing for your mind)? All I can say is that enough is enough. I am taking back my life and my education from all those social networks that I have allowed to consume on me.

Finals Week

 Finals Poem:
Twas the night before finals,
And all through the college,
The students were praying
For last minute knowledge.

Most were quite sleepy,
But none touched their beds,
While visions of essays
Danced in their heads.

Out in the taverns,
A few were still drinking,
And hoping that liquor
Would loosen up their thinking.

In my own room,
I had been pacing,
And dreading exams
I soon would be facing.

My roommate was speechless,
Her nose in her books,
And my comments to her
drew unfriendly looks.

I drained all the coffee,
And brewed a new pot,
No longer caring that
my nerves were shot.

I stared at my notes,
But my thoughts were muddy,
My eyes went ablur,
I just couldn't study.

"Some pizza might help,"
I said with a shiver,
But each place I called
Refused to deliver.

I'd nearly concluded
That life was too cruel,
With futures depending
On grades had in school.

When all of a sudden,
our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put It Off
Ambled inside.

His spirit was careless,
His manner was mellow,
All of a sudden,
He started to bellow.

"On Cliff notes, on Crib Notes
On last year Exams.
On Wingit and Slingit
And Last Minute Crams."

His message delivered
he vanished from sight.
But we heard him laughing
Outside in the night.

Your teachers have pegged you
So just do your best.
Happy Finals to All
And to all a Good Test.


-Anonymous-

 

 

 

There is a reason that the word studying has dying at the end. stuDYING!!! 4 exams down, 3 still to go. I am so ready for this semester to be over, done, complete, finished, and all other words that mean I don't have school anymore for a while. A quote from the Hunger Games is circulating campus right now (slightly modified) and is it "May the curve be ever in your favor". SO true. So to anyone who has finals left this week "may the curve be ever in your favor". Peace out.

 

 

 

 



Summer Update

I've had a crazy summer. I went home for a week and had a BLAST! I went swimming, hiking, riding, kayaking, saw my family and friends, and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Currently all I'm doing is working about 35 hours a week at a call center. I love my new roommates. And other than that my summer has been pretty lazy and slow. I am SO ready for school to start up again, and hoping for a better semester that last time. Also I have decided to change my major from an English major with a Creative Writing emphasis to a Nursing major. It just feels right. So now all I have to is to apply to the nursing program (and meet all the requirements for that). So that is mu update for my summer so far. More to come soon enough.

Spring Semester 2012--My FIRST Semester

I had SO much fun this semester! I LOVED all of my roommates and the lessons I was able to learn. I should have been blogging this all along but here is a sample of how much fun I have had this semester. :)

This was our first Sunday together. Left to right: Aly, Alisha, Kaylene, me, Brooke, and below is Erika. I love these girls!!

Oh Alisha... Haha

Kaylene wasn't here the whole semester so we were just 5 for most of the semester. But it was still a blast!!

One weekend we went and camping under the stars (in my Grandparent's backyard in Victor) and then went hiking in the Tetons the next morning. We had so much fun!

The girl in the middle is Becca, she is Kaylene's little sister who came and stayed the weekends with us for a couple weeks. She became an addition to our apartment pretty fast and we all loved her.

My roommates were very adamant about helping me experience Rexburg in my first semester, so this was my first time at Sammy's. :)

Swimming at the sand bar for FHE :)

Rexburg Rapids on college day was a blast! Only in Idaho is there a moose and a bear statue at a water park! Haha

Brooke, Quinn (one of our FHE brothers), Kaite (Brooke's friend from home) and I went to Mesa Falls, it is so beautiful there!

We decided to put out feet in the river on the way home, but we all ended up to our waists in water. Quinn ended up "taking a bath" :)

Independence Day! We went to Idaho Falls, had dinner at Five Guys, and watched the firework show. Aly, Erika, and I had different varieties of red, white, and blue! We looked super cute! Haha

Don't pick a fight with an African. This is one of my best and truest friends Villiem (VH is what he go's by) he is a lively man from South Africa and Kaylene made the mistake of shooting him in the face with a foam rocket, so he tied her up with kite string and she ended up outside, tied to the balcony. Haha

My Brazilian FHE brother Otavio. I straitened his hair. By the end of the day he completed this flamer look with a tutu, my sunglasses (that he has on now) and a bandanna.

I hope you can see from these few pictures the fun that I was able to have my first semester of college at BYU-Idaho. I will do better at blogging things as they happen from now on. Three cheers for SUMMER!!! Bring on the new memories! :)

Freedom

I have officially completed my first semester of college!! :D I didn't realize how much school stressed me out until I don't have to worry about it for a while. I didn't notice how much time I spent on it until I suddenly have nothing to do! Whoop!! Here is to the start of a great summer!! :D FREEDOM!!!!!!

Rose Colored Gasses

Almost all of my posts lately have been quite pessimistic. I really am loving life, I am just facing some painful trials right now. I am letting that show through instead of all the wonderful experiences that I am having. I love going to school, I love all of the people that I have met, I love the oppertunities that I have had to grow and become a new and better person, I love learning and I really do love life. I just need to put on my rose colored glasses more often. There is a Chinese proverb that says "A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials". This "friction" will pass and I will be able to be stonger because of it!

Diagnosis

I guess I got a few answers to my health issues. I haven't been feeling that great all semester (head colds, flu symptoms, fatigue, and an over all "blaaa" feeling), but the last two or three weeks have been especially bad. I have had to stay home from classes several times because I just couldn't force myself to do anything more that get ready for the day. I haven't been sleeping well at ALL and that is as well is taking a HUGE toll on me in almost every area of my life. So I finally caved in, decided to not be stubborn, and went to the doctor. Diagnosis? I am officially an insomniac. Awesome. I also have bronchitis (only two symptoms away from phenomia (if my fever was higher and I had chills then it would be phenomia)), a sinus infection and something potentially wrong with my thyriod. We will find out for sure as soon as they get my blood test results back from the lab. Fabulous. Just what I need. Hopefully I can get better SOON! I have classes to attend, homework to do, finals in two weeks I have to study for, I have to work, and it is just NO fun being sick. I miss my dad at times like this. He gives the best blessings.

Vehicle of Choice

 This is my dream car, and I will have one when I'm rich and famous! It is fast, sleek, and just all around sexy! ;)

But a truck like this is much more realistic (for now).  I love old trucks! The newer ones are good too, but I really like older models! :)

Country Livin'

Oh man, do I ever miss home! Last night my roommates and I all dipped in and purchased a HUGE watermelon! It was SO yummy!! That delicious bust or sweetness when you bite into the pink flesh = DEVINE!! But, I discovered that that flavor reminds me of home. That is the taste that brings back memories of sitting outside as a family eating watermelon, after "sacrificing ritual" (which consists of all the little kids running in circles arounf the watermelon and some lucky child getting to stab it at a timed moment) and throwing the rinds out to the horses or chickens. It brings back memories of freshcut grass, dogs barking, not a could in the sky, swimming in the Snake and family. I miss all of that so much! I miss living the country. Now I live in a tiny appartment, I walk outside and there is cement/asphalt everywhere, no trees, and I construction sight out my bedroom window. I miss walking outside and having the horses nicker at me, I miss having long lucious grass to run my fingers through, I miss being a mile away from a beautiful river! Water is something that I didn't really appreciate very much until I came to school and there isn't water like I am used to having. I can drive about 20 minutes and find some, but at home I could walk for 20 minutes and find some. I don't miss the gnats or the heat in the summer. But I miss everything else. I miss my horses especially. I miss riding them, handling them, kissing them, sitting on their backs watching the stars, and (as weird as it sounds) the smell of their sweat after a good hard ride. Ahh.. that country livin' is the only way of livin' for me!

                                                                   Home....

Guitar

I am in love with this instrament! It is my daddy's and he is letting me use it. I have basically taught myself what I know so far (and that is NOT very much (yet)) and I am loving it! It is a great stress relief for me, a great thing to do when I need a break from homwork, and a good talent to work on. I am SO grateful that I have music in my life and that I am capable and able to learn new instraments!!