Guitar

I am in love with this instrament! It is my daddy's and he is letting me use it. I have basically taught myself what I know so far (and that is NOT very much (yet)) and I am loving it! It is a great stress relief for me, a great thing to do when I need a break from homwork, and a good talent to work on. I am SO grateful that I have music in my life and that I am capable and able to learn new instraments!!

Music=My Love

Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE my music! So as tribute to only a few of my favorite artists I am going to highlight them and tell you why they are my favorites! The descriptions will be brief for intrest of time. Enjoy :)

Angels and Airwaves: They have a funky style that I find refreshing. I also enjoy their (mostly) clean lyrics and Tom DeLong's accent if you will in this band.

Benton Paul: Not many people have heard about him and that is one of the reasons that I like him. He plays accustic guitar to the songs that he has written. His songs are semi trendy yet original.

Colbie Caillat: Very popular singer. I love her low earthy voice. It isn't one that you hear everyday. I love her style--accustic and yet popish.

Coldplay: Very different style. Their sound gives me an almost warped inpression, yet it is soothing and relaxing. Chris Martin has an inpressive range. I think that he can sing higher than me!

Jack Johnson: Another popular yet AMAZINGLY talented artist. His voice blends beautifully with his accustic guitar leaving a feeling or peace and hope in his music.

Josh Groban: Anyone how knows me well knows that I LOVE Josh Groban! His voice is amazing, his vibrado is tear-jerking, his passion is inspirational, his pronunciation of other languages is admirable, and he is amazing in every single possible way!

Keith Urban: A musical genius and extremely skilled guitarist, he composes his music and THEN his lyrics--something that only true musicians do. He has a beautiful Austrailian accent when talking but while singing all you hear is his heart pouring through his music.

Linkin Park: More emo that I usually listen to but they have a great variety of songs from borderline screamo to slow and peaceful. They are often depressing songs but I love the talent that they have in harmonizing and instramental.

Matisyahu: Who doesn't like a Jewish reggae singer/rapper with a message behind his lyrics? :)

Michael Bublé: Easy listening/dancing Frank Sinatra style that I love combined with passion, dynamics, and power in his voice. LOVELOVELOVE!!!

Parachute: Popular, soft on the ear, heart throb lyrics, harmony, strings, these guys have it all!

Rascal Flatts: A perfect mix between counrty and pop. These guys make my heart go pitter-patter. They're harmonies are DEVINE!

Ron Pope: Another accustic soloist. Beautiful and powerful songs that if you listen to the lyrics, you will most likely cry.

Secondhand Serenade: This is also a bit of an emo style but I love the relatable and beauriful lyrics and the guitar makes me want to learn every one of their songs!

Vitamin String Quartet: All the beats and rythms that you love of popular music without the sometimes questionable lyrics. Perfect!!

Yellowcard: LOVELOVELOVE!! They have AMAZING string work, beautiful and inspirational lyrics, and to top it off a POWERFUL story of hard work, passion, and love to get to where they are now. Love them!

These are just a FEW of the artists that I adore. I LOVE music!! It's power is undeniable. I don't know where I would be without my music!! AHH!!! 

Where Are You?

I feel like I am ready to settle down with someone. Yes, I know how old (young) I am but I feel ready. The only problem is that I have become extremely picky about who I want to be with. I have had to many bad experiences to have low standards any longer. But the problem is that I have only met a few men who meet my expectations, and they of course are unavailable. To prove to my readers (if any) what a quest I have ahead of me I will tell you the things I despise in men and things that I am looking for.

Turn-Offs

Appearance: SIKNny jeans, fake glasses, pericings, tatoos, shaggy hair, nasty facial hair (I'll admit some people can pull it off), the whole "hipster" look, flat brimmed hats, decorated jeans, someone who wears sunglasses inside, lots or gaude rings and braceltes, and many more things.

Character: Putting ohters down, cocky, plays video games, putting themselves down, pretending to be somebody that they aren't, being two-faced, a lack of education (or dedicaton to gain one), overly (and stupidly) opinionated, lazy, a lack of "drive", obessive over stupid things like football, vulgar language, perverted thoughts, unforgiving, and much much more.  

Things I Like

Appearance: Tall, blue eyes, deep voice, cowboy boots, aviators, plaid shorts, workboots, Carhart jackets, a smile (with good teeth and eyes involved), nice hands (big, strong, and calloused), and many more things.

Character: Confident (not cocky, just sure of themselves), hard working, playful--yet knows when to be serious, friendly to everyone (not just me), a true friend (one who would drop everything just to help me), is constant in who he is and doesn't change dependant on who he is with, fogriving, educated (on dedicated to gaining an education), musically inclined, strong (physically, emotionally, and mentally), stands up for truth, protective, has an ability to put people at ease, can fix things, and so much more.

My list of things that I am looking for goes on much longer that I have it here. What has happened to all the real men? What happened to men like my daddy? Oh, where are you Mr. Right? I am trying to do everything that I can to prepare for the day when I meet you, and I desperately hope that you are doing the same. I hope I can find you someday and that that day won't be to far away. 

Sleep (or Lack Thereof)

Insomnia is a synonym for torture. Laying awake. Exhausted beyond comprehehsion. I feel the hours tick-tick-ticking past. Look at the clock and count down the hours until I have somewhere to be, somewhere to go--and I dread the thought of having to go through another day like a robot. No feeling. Only going through the motions of the day. Not being anything. Not thinking clearly. Everyday trying to wear myself down enought to sleep at night, thiknking that it will help. Everynight regreting that decision because all I have accomplished was to build on the exhaustion. Making everything worse. I am like a dangerous game of Jenga, about to crumble to the ground in a mess of the shape I once was and almost completely unrecognizable. All I want is to sleep. Rest. Recharge. That's all I want. Sleep. Get the release that only uncousciousness can give. The release from the pain, stress, and wear-and-tear or everyday life. I want to get away from it all and enter my perfect world--the one where I rarely exist. The world of my dreams. Where everything is as it was, everything is right again, and it doesn't hurt anymore. Everything (and everyone) is back where I love them. The place where I am ok to put down the walls, and masks that I wear for the world. Where I can relax and not act for anyone. I don't have to pretend to be ok anymore, because I am. I don't have to pretend to be happy anymore, because I am. I don't have to pretend to be content, because I am. But then again...is it worth it to have to wake up from that world and face reality? I feel like Hamlet. "To sleep, perchance to dream--aye there's the rub!" I'm going crazy in my own mind. Playing out situations in my head. Over and over. Could I have changed things? Is it all my fault? This self inflicted torture is what is taking place in my mind instead of the blissful release of sleep.

20 before 20

I turn 20 in one year, 187 days, 23 hours, 39 minutes and 6 seconds as of right now. I have set a list of 20 things I want to do before my 20th birthday. I think it will be fun, challenging, and something to work for. I was inspired to do this by my awesome roommate who just did this for her 20th birthday. She is a great inspiration to me in many ways--but that is another story. I decided to post the list on here so that I will hopefully be more commited to it. There goals are in no specific order and I hope to complete all of these!! Totally doable!

1. Do a triathalon

2.Go skydiving

3. Conquer my fear of spiders, the dark, and sharks

4. Pull a 4.0 at LEAST one semester 

5. Swim in the ocean (deep enought that I can't touch)

6. Create a delicioius new recipe

7. Sew a quilt

8. Go to Germany

9. Master guitar

10. Write a song and preform it for at least 50 people

11. Learn 5 tricks on my skateboard

12. Catch a wild animal with my bare hands

13. Read the Book of Mormon in German

14. Read my quad from cover to cover

15. Finish my book and submit it for editing and publishing

16. Read every published piece that Shakespeare ever wrote

17. See a broadway in New York City

18. Buy my own car

19. Take a leap of faith

20. Become somebody better than who I am today

When I turn 20 I will do a review of these goals and let you all know how well I did! :)

Here I am again, restating that I will get back into blogging. But this time I really will. I need to practive my writing skills, and I will stick with it for real this time. A LOT has changed from my last post to this. I am now attending college and a totally and completely new person.  I have struggled in areas I thought that I would be strong in all of my life. I have come to realize what a horrible person that I used to be--when I thought I was fine before. I have experienced heartache on a level I didn't know was possible. I have been stretched beyond what I thought I could stand. I have fallen down and scrambled to put myself back together. I have gone from thinking that I know eveything to knowing that I know nothing at all. And yet, through all of this, I am happier than I have ever been. Yes, I have my off days but the good out number the bad! Life is good!